Sometimes, I feel like I live life with bumpers, like in a bowling alley for kids. I try to stay in the middle, making choices that are safe. I choose not to take big risks and rejoice in small rewards. This safe life allows for comfort and predictability; great concepts for a person living with an anxiety disorder. I'm a spiritual person and spend most of my quiet moments either conversing with God or self-reflecting on my actions.
Eight months ago, I was having one of these conversations and I received this overpowering feeling that I needed to gear up and get ready for a major change. This instantly made me feel unsettled, okay...down right angry. You see, I had just settled a two year legal custody battle with my ex-husband and life was finally starting to settle down. I reluctantly complied, "Okay, God. I'll get ready, but you'll need to fill me in." This led to months of me trying to figure out what type of change I was going to be dealing with. Everything, from Rob's (my amazing husband) potential career shift, to my potential career shift, to an upsetting health diagnosis I wasn't aware of. Yet, I never received an answer to what this big life change was going to entail.
During this time, my 10 year old son (Conley) started the summer by getting baptized in the Billings Vineyard Church. I knew at this point, I had to completely trust that God was in control and would protect my kiddo through the summer on the ranch where his Dad worked. August came and Conley's return date was set for the 9th. Thus starts our journey "Out of the Middle".
Comments