About 1 hour left before I had leave to pick up Conley, officially marking his return home for the school year. As I was finishing small chores waiting for the exchange, I received a phone call. A woman identifying herself as a victims advocate for the county policy department asked me if I was aware of the situation, to which I started to feel panic! She proceeded to tell me that Thursday night, Conley's Dad and Stepmom had gotten into an altercation and his Dad was shot. He had to be life-flighted to Billings and was receiving care. I was floored! How could someone not tell me that this had happened 4 days prior to me receiving the information and where the HELL was my son? She then requests to perform a forensic interview with Conley. He was staying with his grandmother and the original plan was to interview him when I picked him up that Monday at 5pm. As fate would have it, the interviewer was suffering from a bee sting and asked to perform the interview on Tuesday.
As a school counselor, I was aware that I could potentially taint a testimony by asking questions. As a mom, I wanted to know what happened, and what exactly did Conley see? I now had little over an hour to process how I was going to comfort Conley in this trauma, while combatting my anger that CPS had not informed me right away. I also immediately realized that Conley had ignored all of my texts and attempted calls all weekend. By this point, I'm also convinced that Conley would not be returning to his Dad's again as this was not the first...but the SECOND time his Dad had been SHOT while Conley was in the house!
I met Conley and his Nanna, where I got the gist of the story that this was an accident, his Dad was recovering, that Conley didn't see anything, and that his Stepmom really is a good person. If life could have a bullshit button, I'd press that thing so loudly! Conley looks over at me as we start to drive off and asks quietly, do you know what happened? My heart sank, because at this moment I see the pain and affliction in his eyes as he's is going to have to tell this story again, and this has been his reality that I couldn't protect him from. I explained that I couldn't ask questions, but that I would listen if he wanted to tell me what had happened. As the story unfolds, there were so many pieces of the puzzle that didn't connect. One thing is for certain, God had a shield around him that night. The walls in their cabin were taken from a mobile trailer home and were very thin. His door was open, and he easily could have been hit.
Three statements came out that night that have continued to haunt me. First, Stepmom asked Conley to stand beside her while Dad was pointing a gun at her. Thankfully he did not go. Second, the family told Conley that he kept his Dad alive by talking to him, while he was bleeding on their floor, waiting for help to arrive. Lastly, his Dad's family told him NOT to tell the truth to the police and not to tell me what had happened for fear I would "take him away" from them. Thankfully I have a good counselor to help me unpack all of this!
My journey as mom to a child that has experienced trauma officially started. I felt helpless, confused, angry, and so scared for the future. The only sure thing I could do was hold my son and tell him he was safe now. We went to bed that night, hyperaware that this was only the tip of the what was to come.
Photo: Fire in Montana. I took this picture on my way to pick up Conley that day. Thought it was quite metaphorical.
Oh Janna. If there were any way, I would wrap you and your Conley up so tightly in all of God's protection. And maybe I can the best way possible by keeping you in prayers.
God's love to both of you and your husband.
Much love.... Ina