I wake to the newness of change and it's twilight. Dark enough for shadows to creep over my path, light enough providing illusion that I know where I am. I look around me, but I can't see and nothing feels familiar. Placing my glasses aboard my nose, I expect clarity. When it doesn't arrive, the question of safety rises up my spine. Where am I going? Why am I here? Why can't I see the goal? I look down and find my feet on solid ground, stepping out on a path that intuitively feels right. Hope!
I'd made the most faithful change of my life. I was conforming to the new identity put before me, yet I was lost. I woke every morning to a strange house. Went to a job where I felt like a wart on a princess. All I craved was the familiarity of a friends voice, the safety in knowing my neighbors, the comfort of being in a rhythm that made sense for the last 15 years. I was ready to throw in the towel and go back...only problem was there was no "back" to go to. I was stuck and completely blind to the big picture.
Center yourself. Stay grounded. Be true to your true self. Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Keep your feet on the ground. Keep your head out of the clouds and focused on the goal. One step at a time. Remain in the Lord and he will abide in you. We are surrounded by colloquialisms describing commitment to change. Sometimes we enter into a lifestyle change and forget how lonely it can be. The only thing that kept me moving this summer was the balance of encouragement from family and friends. When I would call crying, they would "hug" me and assure me that I was in the place best for my family and myself.
"Lord, please help me see why you brought us here. Everything is so blurry and I'm completely lost." -Janna
As I remained committed to staying in my new home, trusting God really did have a plan for bringing us here, a huge door opened; an opportunity too great not to jump on. Not a week after this small prayer, a career move into a role I've wanted for years and the last piece of the puzzle slid into place. Peace!
*I want to encourage you today. If you've recently made a healthy life choice and find it hard to continue. Have faith that this change will bring balance, beauty, and joy...after the suck of the hard! Commitment isn't something to fear or denounce. It's a character quality to feed and grow. If you're being called to jump...jump. If you're called to stay...stay. Through it all, trust in the fortitude that you are BECOMING the exact version of yourself that God's planned for you since inception of transformation.
*Elkhorn lake: We were stunned by the beauty even after a difficult hike taking a "shortcut".
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